Friday, October 22, 2010

What he says - VS - What he means

friends with benefits
What he says: “I don’t want a serious relationship right now.”
What he means: ”I don’t want a relationship with you, but if you’d like to become friends with benefits let me know.”

What he says: “I’ll have a whisky coke please.”
What he means: ”Ordering anything other than beer or whisky will make me look soft.”

What he says: “If I wasn’t with my girlfriend I’d be with you.”
What he means: ”I will never leave me girlfriend, but I am very tempted to have fun with you.”

What he says: “You’re not fat”
What he means: “You’re not fat although I probably wouldn’t like it if you gained weight.”

What he says: ”I can put that shelf up for you”
What he means: ”I better get sexual favors for this.”

She’s just a friend
What he says: “She’s just a friend”
What he means: ”Yes, I’ve thought about her naked but that doesn’t mean I’d act on it.”

What he says: ”I’ll call you”
What he means: ”I’m not sure if I want to see you again yet, so I need time to think about it.”

What he says: ”I’d never sleep with a prostitute.”
What he means: ”If I had I’d never tell you.”

What he says: ”I don’t mind you being friends with him.”
What he means: ”I really do mind, but would never tell you that.”

What he says: ”I just surfed the net a bit.”
What he means: ”I looked through all your pictures.”

What he says: ”I’ve had sex with a lot of people; I don’t want to tell you the number as it may upset you.”
What he means: ”There’s no way I can tell you as I know you’ll judge me either way.”

What he says: ”I don’t want kids right now.”
What he means: “Kids scare the shit out of me.”

What he says: ”I’m really independent.”
What he means: ”I don’t want you to know that I’d give up most of the things in my life to be with you.”

I love big b00bs
What he says: ”I love big b00bs.”
What he means: ”I love big b00bs.”

What he says: ”I need to get down to the gym soon.”
What he means: “I hope she likes my body the way it is.”

What he says: ”I’d never use fake tan, it’s for girls!”
What he means: “I really want to but I’d look like an idiot if anyone ever found out.”

What he says: ”I don’t want to talk about it.”
What he means: ”I don’t want to seem weak in front of you.”

What he says: ”I can cook.”
What he means: ”I can cook, but I’ll only do it when I want something/need to apologize.”